This is his story...

Let me start with some brief back history. I was 21 when I found out I was expecting my first child , Abel. Oh , how I knew he would be a boy the moment I saw those two lines , and a boy he was. A boy that was about to teach me so much. As common new parents we scheduled our first OB appointment with who all my friends used to deliver their babies. Being who I am I could not enter this new journey without some research . I read Natural Hospital Birthing and kept seeing this word 'doula' appear . After reading several birth stories with doulas involved I came to the conclusion we should get one. We discuss it and give a good friend of ours the good news of being invited to the birth of our firstborn. I make selections for the birth I am desiring based on the education I had at the time.Fast forward to 35 weeks. We discover I have Polyhydramnios , which is too much amniotic fluid. Specialist views my high tech , ultra fancy ultrasound and tells me in short that we both look great but his recommendation is an induction next week. I inquire as to why if we are both in great health. "Increased chance for stillbirth" (I later look it up to see a mere 2% chance) I explain that I want a natural birth. Puzzled , he asks ," What do you mean "natural"?" . I say , "As in no drugs." With a smug half smile he replies ," You know you don't get a gold star for doing that , right ?" We leave and with many tears and praying we decide to schedule an induction in 2 weeks . Never in a million years would I have expected it but Abel decided he wanted to meet us. He knew his environment wasn't top notch and it would be better for him to be born. If you are ever around me you will probably see me wearing his heartbeat around my neck. I see it and it reminds me he knew . Babies know. Fetus' know. September 9 , 2016 on a Friday he enters the world. This follows 22 hours of labor with nothing I had wanted included. I received an epidural , my waters were broken as soon as I check in , no food , wires everywhere , and no feelings of comfort. Was I treated badly by staff ? No. Did I consent to all of these things ? Yes. Do I regret it ? Wholeheartedly. It wasn't about not being treated with respect. Its about lacking the knowledge of what we were allowing. I become increasingly interested in birth. Why do so many woman , including myself , choose to birth like this ? Being told when and how to push , being confined to a small area to do the things necessary to move baby down , having their cervix felt and stretched every hour? Were all of these things truly for the safety of the baby ? I had to know. I had to see for myself. Doing something just because it was socially acceptable was no longer contemplated. In 2019 my passion lead me to become a doula. I had to see woman birth . I had to look into the eyes of a woman about to become a mother and tell her ,"You can do this." I was a doula for 9 mothers before I had to stop for the best reason possible. I saw those two lines again... I was so happy. Immediately I knew I wanted a home birth . It wasn't all about me though ,so I expressed my wishes to Seth. Seth is one of the most unique individuals I have ever encountered. I love him so much and I needed his support. During the first weeks of pregnancy we enjoyed our good news while I gave Seth the time to think things over. By 8 weeks we knew we would hire a midwife to pursue birthing at home. Then enters Cathy. She was sweet and soft spoken . She intently looks at me as I bear her the pain and disappointment of my first experience. With every question we had she put our minds at ease with lengthy answers and plenty of details. After our interview of 2+ hours she left and Seth and I proceeded to put together a new bed frame that had arrived that day. If I know anything about my husband I know he needs time . He isn't one to jump to decisions so I had no intentions of bringing up the meeting that night. As he directs me to the other end of the frame telling me to grab that end he shocks me by saying , "Well , I think she's the one. What do you think ?" I was totally caught off guard. Needless to say, we slept on it and hired her the following day at just 8 weeks. I take the 8 week gender test and came to find the Lord wanted us to have another son. I was crushed. I had tried so hard to prepare myself for discovering I wouldn't get what my heart wanted but in that moment I could only think of the rest of my life never holding the hand of a little girl. Never telling her about the amazing things her little body will one day do as I had done for her. I came to terms with the news quickly and swore on that day that I would roar my son earth side as I had never done before. And roar I did. Pregnancy proceeds with the beauty and grace that only pregnancy can give. I can honestly say I felt beautiful the entire duration of both of my pregnancies . During the gestation of Klint I knew I wanted to be hyper aware of everything that my body was doing each and every day. I knew how fast time goes . As much as I loved Abel's pregnancy , I don't feel I truly savored every passing moment. I knew if I was ever pregnant again that I wanted to go all out. With each passing day I took time to be aware of the changes , the movements , the progress that week. No detail too paltry. We often got strange looks when we explain our regular appointments. They consisted of what typical OB visits do minus the hour wait time , masks ,and impersonal care. Cathy took my blood pressure , tested my urine , measured my fundal height , and discussed anything I wanted to for as long as I wanted to. The care was top notch in every way.

Cathy arrives for my 30 weeks appointment . She rummages through her things as she asks me , "So do you think you know how he is laying today ?" . I reply , "I haven't got a clue." Today was the first day that Cathy would start performing palpations to examine how baby is in the uterus. I lie down and she warms her hands as she gives me a reassuring grin. Her hands lightly apply pressure across my abdomen . Her thumb and middle finger find the head as I just watch her face for signs of … anything. She stops , smiles widely ,and laughs as she says , "You have the smallest little baby!" She grabs my hand and directs it to replace hers . With a subtle mist in her eye she exclaims , "This is your baby's head!" I am in disbelief as I feel this petite orange shaped structure below my naval . I will never forget feeling the firmness of his scalp as I did that day. Seth comes over to experience the feeling next. Cathy tells us she has never felt a baby so low and so well applied at such an early gestation. She smiles and says , "Could be another 37 week baby!"

Time marches on . Covid hits in late March. We were lightly anticipating Klint to arrive around the 37 week mark. I was so disappointed that I was not able to go to church , see my friends , let them see my bump grow , have a shower. I accepted the thought that I would have my baby in quarantine without notice. At 37 weeks restrictions start to lighten up. My sole goal at that point in time was to go to ONE more church service so everyone could see my bump one last time. I go to church that Sunday that church is finally reopened feeling satisfied, not knowing at the time that I would have plenty more services to attend.

37 weeks comes . I do not feel as though I am close to delivering. Braxton Hicks were a regular occurrence and had been for a while. Birthing pool has been set up since 34 weeks . Sometime next week I think to myself , as I continue to wait patiently. 38 weeks passes. I am confused . Wasn't he very low ? Abel was here by this time. My knowledge tells me that means nothing yet my heart clings to wanting to have my baby early. My due date is now this coming Friday. I am in utter shock but that is not just it. My family is leaving next Monday. Knowing there is nothing I can do I simply continue doing what I know to do. I walk . I stay hydrated . I continue my mile walk along with my morning yoga daily.

41 weeks … I would have bet you my life savings I wouldn't see it. Texts steadily flow in throughout the day with questions and unsolicited advice on how to "get that baby out". I loved pregnancy . I wasn't miserable. I was enjoying the life that kicked , twisted , and twirled within me. Was I surprised ? Absolutely , but never done. Stress of the impending day of my parents departure continues to loom over my bliss. I pray , I pray hard. Lord please bring this child forth. We meet with Cathy for the last time . She goes over our options. Receive an ultrasound , consider herbal induction , or simply continue waiting. We opt to press on and wait for Klint and the Lord's timing. I am so glad that I did. Early the next morning around 1:30am I wake to mild contractions. I go to the bathroom and think little of it as we had had false alarms before. Although ... that contraction on the toilet wasn't nothing. Better go to the living room and bounce on my ball. This was a special time. A time for me to be alone with my bump for the last time. In this time I sang praise songs and prayed to God that this was the real thing. He was about to show me that it indeed was all too real. At 2 am contractions have progressed to me really needing to focus on them . I decide its time for me to wake Seth . I sit down on the edge of the bed and lightly nudge him. I tell him , "Seth I think it's time." He replies ," Ya right." and rolls over. I go to pee again and another surge sweeps over me. I grab the door frame to the bathroom and fall to my knees to sway through it. As I am doing that I crawl over to the foot of the bed and grab Seth's foot and start shaking it . He finally stirs at this point. I text my photographer to head this way. Seth is trying to encourage me through the surges . He says , "Breathe , in and out." You can tell he is the husband of a doula. I tell him to call Kate and have her start getting around . I hear her asking questions on the other end of the phone wondering how far apart contractions are , etc. I say , "Let her listen to me moan so she knows this is for real!" I ask Seth to text Dad and Tamra now and tell them to head this way. I remember walking from the living room into our bedroom and seeing Seth getting around and I asked him if he thought it was a false alarm. He laughed and said , " I don't think you need to worry about that right now." I fell to my knees again in tears exclaiming , " We are having a baby!". I was so happy it was finally time and my parents were going to be here. Cathy is notified and everyone is heading our way. Shelbi is the first to arrive. Shelbi walks in to find me swaying over my birthing ball. I greet her with heavy breathing and say as I make sure to have eye contact with her , "No matter what happens keep taking pictures." You think just because I chose to birth at home I don't know ? I know. Kate arrives very excited , then Murphie , my doula. Murphie immediately goes to warm up a rice bag .Kate reads me my affirmations that I had collected over the course of my pregnancy. “This is a challenge, not a threat.” ,“Allow and Accept.”, “This is Klint’s birth.”, “His loving-kindness endures forever.”. It was especially wonderful having Kate there. She looks to me , I know. She having already given birth herself twice still looked at me as though she had no idea what I was going through… or perhaps she knew precisely. With eyes full of sympathy she holds my hand vowing not to leave my side , and she never did.

I am in the living room leaning over my ball when Dad and Tamra walk in. I have a huge emotional release at this moment. Seeing Dad made my walls fall. I was so afraid he wasn't going to be here to celebrate the life of Klint. Cathy arrives. As soon as she does she pulls out the doppler and requests permission to listen to Klint . The room beems with joy as we hear that sweet , steady pitter patter. Still , I ask ,"Sound ok ?" With a reassuring smile she says , "Sounds wonderful." Now I can focus back on the work set before me. I sway , I glide , I reach out for hands to gather strength ... anyone's hands. Kate or Seth most of the time , my dad's once. I remember clawing at Seth's shoulder while I bury my face in his shoulder. My memory fades in and out as I truly was in another land. Birth takes you away. Pain takes you away. This isn't headache pain or backache pain. This is an unstoppable force that longs for submission and acceptance. It is a pain that demands to be felt. I break concentration to look up at my team and ask Seth and Murphie if they think it's too early to get into the water. They both look neutral , not wanting to give the wrong advice. They advise me not to over think it. They know me well enough to know that that is what I needed to hear. I work through a couple more contractions and then turn my gaze to Cathy leaning against the wall across the room. I ask her , "Do you think I can get in the tub now or is it too early ?" She looks at me as she wipes off the doppler from a successful reading , "I think you should get in the pool when you're no longer asking us, but telling us." Couldn't have said it better myself. Sure enough within a few more contractions I was telling them, " I am getting in the tub!" . Dad and Tamra excused themselves. I slowly make my way to the pool . I take off my black leggings and then my pink shirt . This was an outfit I was wearing on a regular basis as it was one of the last things to fit me . As I strip off my clothes I strip away the last remnants of my pregnancy. The highs and lows , the anticipation, the massive amount of preparing for my dream all coming to this point as I take off these clothes for the last time. One foot and then the other I dip into the warm waters , but not just any waters. The waters my baby will arise from. It is warm , safe ,and oh so comforting. Cathy says , "Is it high enough ?" and I reply , "It's ok but I could take it hotter." She laughed and said , " I meant is the water level high enough . I won't let you have it any hotter!" The whole pregnancy I told her and Seth I didn't want luke warm water! I am now leaning over the edge of the pool breathing lowly and slowly . I am in a deep squat. This enables Klint to have maximum space to maneuver and descend . It's not long and I feel the intensity only grow in power. My body knows exactly what is happening. My mind however, is fearful of the unknown. How is this happening ? How am I doing this ? Suddenly , I felt happen within me what I had only ever read about and witnessed... and I just about came right out of that pool. I literally felt the burst of my amniotic sac . With shock and amazement I announce , MY WATER BROKE , MY WATER BROKE , MY WATER JUST BROKE !!!" My team with a roar of comforting words and encouragement settle me back down and reassure me that what is happening is ok. The logical side of my brain knows that everything that is happening is all too normal , maybe that is why it was so alert. Reality seeps into even the smallest cracks of my existence . Immediately , I have this overwhelming urge to feel , not just feel the waves of my uterus contracting but to feel him. The baby that I have felt for the last six months but never skin to skin. I reach to find his squishy scalp. At first I don't recognize him or what I am feeling but I soon make out hair . He was still a good four inches up. With my waters breaking brought no proceeding mercy. As I type this I can gaze over to the spot where I was receiving these sensations and reminisce with gratitude. I announce " I can feel his head!" . Murphie , Kate , Seth all at my face within arms reach . A contraction cultivates just as the one before it a minute previously. "I'm feeling PUUUSHYYY AAHH!!!" , I exclaim. As concentrated as I was I can still remember the most minute of details. Murphie sends a shooting look for direction to Cathy as Cathy ever so casually states in response to my outburst, " I'm sure you do." while she jots down notes as if she is simply writing her grocery list. I look over at my parents on the couch as they emanate with pride , excitement and dare I say the looks of being impressed. Dad nods at me as I lock my eyes with his. The man that raised me , guided me , always made sure I was out of harms way and at this moment in time there was nothing he could do to free me from this pain. But I didn't need freeing , I needed his love, and he knew that. Murphie holding my hand and arm ,sweetly smiling at me and telling me softly , "You've got this." There is a special connection between doula and the birthing mother. Maybe that doula was the only one in her life that believed she could deliver this baby drug free. Maybe that doula was the only one who told her to put off induction just a couple more days and wait for her body. Maybe she was even the person that stares you dead in the eyes when you are at your most vulnerable point in all your life and tells you ,”You can go a little more.” After nine months of prep work , constant discussion of birth and all the what ifs , countless hours of walking , yoga , exercises encouraged by said doula to help YOU get your body in tip top shape to birth a baby and it all comes down to you being in a tub with her smiling at you cause it’s here , this is it, it’s YOUR time to shine , and she knows how dead gum hard you have worked for it.

I tuck my chin and focus my attention on my husband, the co-maker of this child. I grab his strong shoulders and grip them as if I can gain the stamina straight from them. A man brings a totally new perspective to birth. He adds what I lack, he complements the mother, adding and taking away from her weaknesses and strengths. I stare at him, he smiles at me. I slowly shake my head at him with my mouth wide open and exclaim, “HIS HEAD IS COMING OUT OF MY BODY!!!” Seth nods at me, a slight tear in his eye, tells me he is trying to disguise his pride. This man is proud of me.

With my hand, I alone touch his head. The head that presses against my hand as it pushes my hand out of the way. With a tight burst my body opens for him allowing only his beautiful head to come forth. I announce , “HEAD IS OUT! HIS HEAD IS OUT!”. I was not scared , I was in total awe of what my body was doing and I knew what it had left to do. On the outside I appeared totally hysterical in these moments. Instantly without warning or reason I flip from leaning over the side of the pool to leaning my back against the pool wall. Seth with his arms on mine whispering to me encouragements I so desperately needed. He was excited. I was tired. I look at Cathy who has been monitoring everything so well and say , “Is he ok ?” She calmly guides me with only her words as she has given me not one cervical exam , just as I had wished. I wanted to do everything. This was my birth and it wasn’t getting taken away this time. She says kindly and calmly, “He has cord around his neck , do you feel that ?”. I nod as my head is leaning back on the wall and eyes are closed. With just my hands I feel the soft plump rope like lifeline for my baby. In my hands I hold his very life. But my body has made a strong cord to compliment my strong baby. With ease Cathy directs me as I listen, “Good now take that and glide it over his head. Very good. A little more. There ya go. Keep going. There! Perfect.”

Just that easy. No danger, no fear. Just a mother listening to the words of a wise midwife who is all too familiar with the harmless nuchal cord. Just as I finish that tiny experience that is so rare and that I will never allow to escape my memory, I have never forgotten that my time with my baby within me at this point needs to remain brief. It’s coming, it grows from the pits of your abdomen and blooms within you as a parade of expression and power. Oh so powerful. Yes, it is painful but pain takes all credit for birth. It controls it in people’s minds. With the distraction of pain in our culture you allow the beauty and utter phenomenon to escape. In which case only the pain is left.

I moan and then growl and then scream as everyone watches expecting that head to follow with a body but it doesn’t. As I often say , pushing on your back or leaning against your back is not the optimal position. He doesn’t come. But I swear with all my being that I could feel him trying to go back in to his place of solitude. I look at Cathy instantly and say softly with a look of pure shock , ‘He is trying to go back in.”. “Don’t do that.”, I tell him. She was thinking the same thing I was. Position change. She says , “Ok , let’s get you up on your knees.”. With help and a fourteen and a half inch head between my legs I go from leaning against the pool wall to all fours. I instruct Cathy to make sure he is ok as I am on my final surge. My final hoorah. The last moment he is within me and never again. Cathy verifies my wishes quickly as informed consent is one of her biggest priorities and I love that about her. Throughout my pregnancy I had made my desires known that I wanted a hands free birth. Meaning , no pulling , twisted , stretching etc on my nether regions or my baby. I wanted to do absolutely everything. And I did.

I confirm to her , “Yes I want you to check on him!” Now in good conscience, she puts her hands on Klint for the first time. She glides her hands on either side of him and gives a little wiggle back and forth to make sure he is not stuck. He is not. With the mightiest of roars I push with every muscle in my body and every fiber of my being. After 2 min of his head being outside of my body, submerged in the waters, his body comes forth into Cathy’s arms and straight to mine. My body at 4:53am, after 41 weeks , said it’s time to let go. I hold him and cry as I kiss him with purpose. Cathy says, “ Rub your baby , Victoria.”. I rub him and look at her and say , “Is he ok?” She smiles and nods. Cathy covers us with a towel so we are both covered. Now everyone is around the pool in awe of the miracle they just witnessed. When you enter into someone’s birthing space you never can fathom what all will take place. It is the most unknown adventure of all.

I squeeze him , Seth wraps both of us in a hug. I can hear the world around me rejoicing in this brief moment. I hear them , “He looks just like Abel” , “Wonder how much he will weigh.” , “Good job , momma!” . I look up at all of them and with surprise and such healing I proudly exclaim, “I DID IT! I REALLY DID IT!!!” You see , I needed to heal . I needed to know I could do it. I needed this in the history of my life. I needed to bring Klint forth of my own being. I NEEDED to birth without bright lights , sterile medical equipment , a mechanical bed , and a oversized hospital gown. I NEEDED to labor without beeping and monitors, without IVs and screens. I NEEDED a care provider that trusted my body as much as I did, who was not fearful of made up issues, and with being at risk of sounding disrespectful, I needed her to know that she worked for us and that Seth and I made each and every decision. She exceeded all my wishes and needs. She reminded US that we always call the shots! Cathy was calm ,fearless, collected , and oh so familiar with physical , biological birth. We love her and loved our experience with her.

With this time fleeting so fast it was already time to deliver my placenta. I gave baby pushes to the organ that I had made. The organ that kept my baby nourished and living for 41 weeks. The organ that was well used and ready to be expelled. It slid from my body quietly , asking for nothing in return.

Kate went to get Abel out of bed. She walks in holding him. Groggy but still looking at me. He leans down close to see the umbilical cord. He had spoke frequently about it and was very interested in seeing it once Klint was born. He gazed at it with wonder and curiosity. Cathy clamped the now white cord and Seth and Abel cut it together. I handed him to Seth after that. He was received into a towel that smelt of his parents. Seth looked down on him with the biggest smile. Dad and Tamra exit the room for me to leave the pool. Slowly I make my way up and I get one leg over and sit on the pool as if I am riding it like a horse. I feel warm and light headed. I go limp and pass out….but then…. I hear Cathy saying , “Victoria?” repeatedly. Its such a mothering sound. Hearing it makes me come out of this dreamy land. I wake to see Kate holding my head as I lie on the floor by the pool. She is weeping. I give her a strange look as Cathy asks me questions. I tell her I was simply dreaming. She asks what about. I haven’t the faintest idea but it felt as though I had been sleeping for days. Warm feeling leaves as I get a cooler feeling. Everyone says I passed out. As I start getting my wits about me again Cathy asks if she can check for any tearing as the water was quite scarlett. I say sure and she asks if I am ok with everyone in the room being present. I confirm that I am as Dad and Tamra remain excused. Kate continues holding my head and I keep wondering why she was so emotional. I tear up now as I type this. She whispers , “ I was asking God not to take you. You looked so bad.” I said , “Kate, I am fine.” She assures me , “You didn’t see you.” I ask for my baby to be brought close now. I can’t hold him right now so I reach out to touch him and take a quick soak in his delicate skin with just my hand. ” You have some stretching. I can suture you or if you want it is minor enough to heal on it’s own if you like.”, Cathy states. I opted for the latter. They sit me up and here I go again. I wake up again , now leaning on the pool. Seth is what I see first , holding our sweet boy. He smiles a concerned smile. I am covered and Dad and Tamra are back in the room. Dad suggests a banana so I sit and eat a banana as we all visit a minute. I tell Seth to go ahead and go put Klint in his first outfit. I send Shlebi with him to get those pics. They come back and I ask to hold my baby. Seth sits him on my lap as I sit there. I marvel. Just marvel at him. I am dying to know how much he weighs so I look at Cathy as she is now bagging up my placenta to go in the freezer , “Can we go ahead and weigh him?” She says , “Sure!”. We undress him and all take our guesses. Seth says 6.14 , I say 8.2 and others as well. We put him in the sling and Seth lifts and lifts. Cathy mouth drops and she says , “I knew it! 9.4 lbs!"

They clothe and wrap Klint up again and someone takes him so I can make another attempt to make it to bed. Slowly they stand me up and I start to go. They grab a chair real quick and I sit on the chair swaying. Murphie and Cathy hold me up. I am barely conscious. I feel Cathy taking my blood pressure again as she had before. I hear my Dad saying , “ What’s her blood pressure?” She says , “I can’t get a reading.” I start to come out of it and hear Cathy say , “ Victoria , are you ok with your dad and Seth carrying you to bed?” I nod. Dad and Seth hoist me from my chair and I lean against them both as they take me to my room. As soon as I am laid in bed I can feel the senses of being normal again. I breathe and take in my surroundings. Someone lays Klint next to me and I just peek over at him as I try to come back. We questioned Cathy as to why this was happening and she explained that I had not lost too much blood however I had lost too much blood for what I am personally capable of for my particular body. She goes on to tell us that she has woman lose just as much or more and are fine. So I am just a weakling with blood loss. Cathy continues monitoring me as everyone starts the clean up. Draining the pool , throwing away towels that have been soiled by the blood of my birth. I had bore a child and they were tending to the aftermath. Murphie always near if I need anything at all. Always making sure my water is full. She offers me some snacks that she has. I take one and start eating it. It tastes rather nice after a labor of hard work. “That’s good.”, I say as I munch on the snack and Murphie and Cathy shoot me looks of puzzlement. “I just mean its yummy not that I am done!” , I tell them. Cathy says , “ We thought you were saying you were done! Haha , you better not be! You need to eat up!” Cathy then recommends some food with iron. Preferably red meat. I start to get the proceeding pings of after cramps. Boy did they smart! Those alone were enough to make me not want another baby! They say , “Do you wanna try nursing?” So we put baby to the breast and with a little coaxing he is nursing for the very first time getting the nutrients he needs. Dad and Tamra bring Abel in to see his little brother once more before he leaves with them for a bit. He is wearing his ‘Big Brother Shark’ shirt that Gram got him. He loves Klint and kisses me good bye. Shelbi , after getting the last couple shots , heads out herself. She so enjoyed her first home birth photography session. Kate holds Klint for the first time and says her goodbyes as well. After everyone leaves Murphie and Cathy remain. Cathy , Murphie , and Seth help me to the bathroom. I make it to sit on the toilet and lean forward right into Cathy and pass out for the 4th time . She holds me and I hear her start to say my name as she had done before. It’s fuzzy and I can barely make it out. I wake to the cool and warm feeling again. I tell them , “ I am dreaming the deepest dream within the deepest sleep I’ve ever taken.” It’s absolutely wild. They wake me , I pee , and they swiftly tuck me back into bed . Laying down quickly helps me stabilize. Cathy takes my vitals. All is normal. She instructs Seth and Murphie not to let me out of bed for four hours and with no less than two people assisting me. Cathy was so knowledgeable in this time. She never lost her cool or even second guessed herself. Everytime I came back to I would think to myself “Don’t say it Cathy . Don’t say it.”. I always thought she might say we needed to transfer but I trusted her when she didn’t.

Finally , all was as it should be. Cathy left , Murphie stayed to help but we all rested. Murphie went to lay in Abel’s bed and Seth laid down in bed on the other side of our newest little bundle. Everyone slept , but I just couldn’t take my eyes off of my baby. I laid there and pondered about how amazing and miraculous my morning had been. I had gotten everything I had worked so hard for. I had not defeated birth but accepted it. I look over at you , eager for your closeness , and draw you nearer to me. You cry and I explain to you that you are my last baby and there will be lots of snuggles. I hope our story inspires , enlightens , and encourages. I hope that you feel inspired to pursue a home birth for yourself or support it in someone else's life. I hope you are enlightened to the paradox that maybe home birth is as glorious as this story made you feel. I hope above all that this story encourages you to work hard for the experience you want. I had an absolutely amazing team. They enducated me , pushed me , helped me , encouraged me , and never let me forget my dream birth . I did regular chiropractor care , daily yoga , lots of walking ,ate healthy (mostly) and did so so much reading. If I had not been so dedicated this might not have taken place or not in the same way that it did. If you find yourself thinking this girl thinks she’s real special just cause she had a home birth than let me offer up this for your consideration.I am not special. I was a normal , low-risk woman wanting a simple , safe delivery. You wanna know why I know I am not special ? Because in probable reality, you could too. Home birth isn’t just for the tree huggers it’s for every low-risk , strong woman that knows what she wants.

Lastly but definitely not least, God was everything in this pregnancy and birth. Constantly I was reminding myself that HE is always in control. The scriptures that were in my head and on my birth notes were - John 15:5 “Apart from me you can do nothing.” I Cor 10:13 “You will not be given more than you can handle.” John 5:30 “I can do nothing of my own initiative.”.

I know I tell this tale as I am the most confident birther there ever was but I know I could never give birth if God hadn’t formed me to be a woman that is so elegantly able to bear children, unlike a man. I thanked God frequently through this pregnancy for making me so intricately that I may grow tiny fingernails and little toes. He is an awesome God and so worthy to be praised.